ETERNAL
by PandemoniumPrincess
Summary: #9. He couldn't let go, but now, he has. Because he was certain that one day, she'd be back in his arms again and they continue their love eternal. Another AU story of Ayuzawa Misaki and Usui Takumi.


**Disclaimers:** Woo hoo! Yeah! I finally own—kidding.

**A/N:** Like Unforgotten, it wasn't place in the MORE LOVE category since, once again, it could stand on its own. :D. If you're planning to request a sequel or another update with regards to what happens next—or what might have happened before—I'm afraid I won't be able to do so since I've got new stories I'm planning to post. These are all nothing but one-shots. :D. So, please be patient for those stories and I hope you'd like them. :D. Anyway, please read and as always, tell me what you think since I love listening and reading your thoughts about every story I'm posting.

**Title:** Eternal

**Pairing:** Ayuzawa Misaki X Usui Takumi

**Genre:** Romance X Angst X Hurt X Tragedy

**Inspiration:** **Yeah**. **That's right** (You know what that means, Monina)

**Dedication:** to all **FFN addicts** out there!

-;-

**ETERNAL** is also dedicated to my friends **Monina S.**, **Patricia A.**, **Diamyca C.**, **Milleth C.**, **Gladys V.** and **Kenneth F.**. Without them, everyday would be a dull and lifeless experience. Yeah that's right—thanks for the everyday insults, people. XD

-;-

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love is insanity, then why are you my clarity?_

-;-

_Wish that I never let you go and slip away, had enough reasons for you to stay._

_Baby, you need to come home and back to me._

**ETERNAL**

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**ETERNAL**

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**ETERNAL**

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Usui Takumi has always been told that love is an incommodious emotion.

It controls people. It makes them ugly inside and out. And when they love, there is a risk that everything would be set into complicacy. There would be fights, really heated—and sometimes, worthless—arguments, jealousies, emotional frustrations, misunderstandings and most of all, heartaches. It could be a tragic experience too—like what happened to his Mom and Dad. No matter how much they love each other, they never end up together since many people opposed their relationship. They were simply not meant to be. It might have been an ugly sight had he seen during his childhood. And he was thankful he never got the chance to witness it.

Sometimes, you'd fall in love with someone who is most likely the most unsuitable of all. And no matter how much you try to resurface from the predicaments and rise above the obstructions, failure still awaits you at the far end.

Some people are simply not meant to be.

Takumi was never one to get attached. In fact, it was already practiced that he remained cold and indifferent and uncaring towards people he'd be temporarily acquainted with in the future. He is to make sure that they wouldn't give his other family—since he was the outcome of a forbidden and illegal romance—a reason to immediately take back his freedom. He stuck with it, bringing no trouble to the Walker family who keeps him under strict watch and obeyed every rule set on him so he'd be able to live freely and unfettered from the dark and choking grip of his foreign lineage. He was like a bird in a cage—but he did not minded it. At the back of his mind, he was so certain that someday, he'd be unrestricted from his unwanted binds with them.

Until he get to meet her. She—that woman with the golden brown nearly amber eyes, loud mouthed, raven-haired and had a very short temperament. She was utterly noisy, violent and had such a terrible belief since her hatred towards men rooted from the fact that her father left them with such a huge sum of debt to pay for. She was everything Takumi was a complete opposite of. But despite all those ugly things about her, she was strong-willed, full of determination, compassionate—although she rarely shows it—and is actually a reckless person—he concluded that after witnessing a series of her life-threatening stunts in order to attain what she wants to attain. She was everything he hated—at first—but also everything he had wished to become. Because unlike him who is a prison of his own past, she was free from the binds of familial convention. She was a free spirit—a freer spirit than him. And he admired that about her.

And of course, she had to work at a maid-café, which she hides from the entire school since she's Student Council President—another thing to be proud about. He admired her even more to the point that he was already following her around wherever she goes to the point that he even invaded her workplace by becoming a temporary cook just so he could be with her, thus gaining the title Perverted Outer Space and Stalking Alien. For the first time in his life, Takumi became interested on a woman. And he was so interested on her he could no longer stop his budding affections for that one woman he used to hate.

His earlier belief with regards to love disappeared. It was thrown off into the oblivion where he thought he'd never be able to see it anymore. He had completely forgotten about his familial restrictions, he disobeyed rules, he yearned for freedom, and he yearned for her. Only her. He was so certain he'd never be able to love someone the way he loved Ayuzawa Misaki—the one woman who was able to soften him up and accepted him in spite of knowing the ugly things that was his past. There were no judgments, no bias comments, and no one-sided reactions. Between them, there are only unspoken words of love and affection. He fell in love with Misaki as fast as when he promised that he'd never disobey the Walker family.

He fell in love with her fast and hard there was no other way to explain things. His stepfather used to tell him love could be a troublesome emotion, too. But after experiencing that magical emotion with Ayuzawa Misaki, he never believed their words again. His existence was a lie; he doesn't want his beliefs to become a lie too. Because in a life as dark as his, Misaki is such a radiant sight. She was the only real thing he could consider to have existed in his life. She was his personal sun… his life… his everything.

.

"_What's with that expression, Usui? It doesn't suit you, you know."_

"_I was trying to figure out something."_

"_And that is? Maybe I could help."_

"_Oh. Thanks for volunteering. I was trying to figure out what color of underwear you might be wearing today."_

_A harsh glare. "Pervert."_

The moment Ayuzawa Misaki told him how much she loved him; he easily concluded that he was the happiest man that ever walked the Earth.

No one was able to stop their relationship—not even people from the Walker family. Despite their vast difference, his feelings for her not wavered even for once. He loved her, and safely, they both graduated from high school and even went to the same University together in England since his family was insistent that he should live in a place where they could still keep watch on him—but at last, he obtained freedom. Theirs was a beautiful love story—it was nowhere near the tragedy that his Mom and Dad previously met eighteen years before his advent in this world. And Takumi was happy that he'd be able to live with the only woman he loved for the rest of eternity.

Every night he would watch her sleep beside him and thought of the many hardships they had face together. Saying that they'd overcome any obstacle now seemed an easy thing for him unlike before when he still didn't have the guts to go against the plans of the Walkers. His firm resolution on staying beside Misaki became even firmer as time pass by. They would be together, he was certain of that—he'd make certain of that.

"_I was wondering about making things official."_

_He noticed her stiffen, before shrugging off awkwardness and embarrassment off her system and continues to eat their dinner. "Aren't we official already?"_

"_I mean legally? Like wedding and wedding vows and wedding rings?" he smirked at her when she dropped her chopsticks and stared at her with her wide eyes, mouth hanging open; gaping at him like a fish. "Will you be with me forever and ever until we're old and grey?"_

"_Oh, my God… are you freakin' proposing?!"_

"_If it wasn't obvious enough, then, yes. I'm proposing. Will you marry me already?"_

"_Are you kidding me?! Of course, I'd marry you, you bastard!"_

That was the happiest thing he'd ever experienced his entire life—Ayuzawa Misaki finally becoming officially his. He was more than glad, of course, more than jovial, a feeling he couldn't name immediately—the kind of emotion he never get to experienced until after his meeting with his future wife.

It was a small wedding. Although he wanted to give her a grand one, she vehemently refused and told him that she didn't need all those extravagant things. She was already satisfied having him and her family and all those people supporting their relationship. She was happy so long as she'd with him. Wedding's in two months time and aside from him who became a doctor, Misaki became a lawyer. They were ready to start a new life together, to build a new family and experience happiness together with their children. He was beginning to plan for their future with her although she was a bit embarrassed when they'd speak about having children.

"_I really want our children to become like you, Misa-chan."_

"_W-What do you mean, you idiot?"_

"_I mean, I want them also raven-haired and amber-eyed and short-tempered just like you. That way, I'd be completely reminded of how you were back when we were high school students."_

"_You pervert! Why are you suddenly talking about that now?!"_

"_So, how many children do you want?"_

"_Two—wait! We are so not having that kind of topic now—"_

"_Hm, I don't really find having only two children favorable. I want our house to be as lively as possible—may be a dozen of them. What do you think?"_

"_Listen to me when I'm speaking with you! And I don't want a dozen of children!"_

"_Two dozen?"_

"_You pervert—"_

"_We've already had that established, don't we?" playfully, he pulled her into his lap and gently cradled her in his arms. "But I absolutely want a boy and a girl."_

_To that, he was so certain she'd soften up a bit since she was stiff as a block while they were having that kind of conversation. He changed her position so that she was straddling him and wounded her arms around his neck, firmly holding her forearms. Takumi pressed his forehead against hers, feeling the warmness of her face and says, "I love you."_

_And he didn't notice that their separation would begin on that very day._

_._

It was two weeks later that he began to notice her skin becoming abnormally pallid. And whenever he'd inquire about it, she'd reason it was because of her hearings and other meetings with regards to her clients. The advices would come in automatic, of course. There was never an hour on their life that he had forgotten to remind her to take care of herself. With her clients and meetings and wedding preparations and other tiring stuffs she engages into, of course, getting absolutely tired is expected. But he gets home later than she does, and he ascertains that she was resting properly before he retires to bed too so it was a wonder how she suddenly turned from her usually pinkish white complexion into ashen white.

The bruises came in next, and that alone was enough to conclude that things weren't right. And the moment he had seen them, the only thing he could see is red.

"_What the fuck are these, Ayuzawa?!" _

_She was startled, he was certain of that with the way she flinched at the intensity of his voice. He suddenly remembered to calm down the next time he asks her a question. "It's nothing. I just tripped down the stairs yesterday—that must be it. Stop shouting."_

_He was furious at the new information he got since she didn't bother to tell him but there were bruises that seemed to be old enough to only attain from an accident, which happened very recently—yesterday, to be exact. Still angry—not at her, of course—he spun her around and lift up the hem of her shirt so he could have a full glimpse of her back, only to end up cursing._

_Misaki was fast as she moved away from his grip. "You perv—"_

"_Don't." his tone came out threatening. It made her stop and be completely rooted on the ground as he stalked forward her and grabbed her by her arm again. Very gently this time, he lifted up again her shirt and takes another look on her back._

"_It's really nothing." She insisted using such a small voice that isn't very typical of her. "Stop worrying about—"_

"_When did you got these?" he asked, still calm._

_There was no way for Misaki to avoid answering Takumi's question when he seemed like he was ready to kill anyone who'd stepped on the landmine that was his mood. "I'm not really sure. They'd appear even if I were not banging myself against the wall. But really, they'd disappear in a few days time. You'll see, they'll be gone before you even know it."_

"_You're coming with me to the hospital tomorrow." He glared at her. "And that is final."_

_._

Takumi was uncertain why he never wanted to sleep that night.

As the skies outside get darker and darker, he continued to stare at the woman sleeping restlessly next to him. Even in sleep, she was still beautiful—a pale beauty. He watched her breathe out air from her slightly parted lips he finds himself wanting to kiss everyday. Her hair was in disarray; raven strands sprawled over the pillow in careless abandon while a few strands manage to make their way on her colorless cheek. And now that he thought of it, he noticed that, indeed, she no longer had that color he loves most.

It was a very thoughtless act that he suddenly reached out for her, grabbing her by the waist and pulled her against him roughly, trying to feel the usual warmth she exudes only to find her body slightly cold. She stirred awake from his actions before looking up at him with her sleepy yet confused eyes.

"_Takumi?"_

_He shakes his head, hiding a kiss on her forehead but continues to hug her. "Sleep, love. We've got a busy schedule tomorrow."_

_A small smile formed on her lips before she wounded her arms around his neck and buried her face on his chest, hiding a kiss on it, too. "I love you." She whispered with such affection._

_I will never let anything part us, was his response that was left unsaid._

_._

When one would asked, Takumi was never one to publicized his feelings for a certain amber-eyed woman who was able to win his heart by always lashing out her anger at him. He was a very private person too adamant to keep too personal things in the dark. Theirs was a secret only them knows. His love for her is something he values too much to be shown around like some kind of trophy. Misaki was one, too. She never revealed her relationship with him even if their intimacy can sometimes be caught on paparazzi cameras. She never denied anything. She never agreed on any thing too. Both of them desired nothing but privacy from the judging eyes of the world.

Back then; he didn't want to say it. But now, Takumi suddenly had this strong urge to shout out to the world how much he loves the woman—that lawyer—that was Ayuzawa Misaki. He wanted to inform everyone about their wedding, that they've been dating ever since they were in high school back in Japan and that he was so in love with her that he wanted to kiss her and make love with her every waking moment of his life. But he suddenly feared his reasons for that very sudden and unplanned action he wanted to make. Why would he do that? Why, all of a sudden, he wanted to do such an intriguing announcement?

He couldn't find the right answers. Or maybe, he just didn't want to voice out that one answer running in his mind.

_Misaki was smiling as she entered the office of her attending physician. "When would you get out of work?"_

"_I can set my whole day off if you want."_

"_Nah. I can handle it."_

_Can handle what, he wanted to ask although he much preferred to make it unsaid—again. Instead, he tried to tease her like the usual. "We could do something exciting together."_

_Her smooth forehead crumpled in confusion. With only one sentence, he was able to perk and capture her interest. "Really, like what?"_

"_Let's play the Pocky game."_

_She was silent for a while before she began to aim punches against his forearm. "Y-Y-You perv—how could you still remember—I am so gonna kill you—"_

_He interrupted her by kissing her fully on the lips. "I love you."_

_The sad—although she tried to hide it—smile on her lips made Takumi's heart beat faster; not because she thrilled him again but because he was so certain that something bad is about to befell on them. "You pervert."_

_He ushered for her inside the clinic. "Get in."_

"_Yeah. See you back home."_

.

The word positive didn't sound so appealing at Takumi the very moment he was able to get the results of her tests.

The situation was nowhere near the future he had planned for both of them—both of them. It was nowhere near the happiness he wanted, and for another moment in his life, he was suddenly reminded of what people used to tell him about love… how unavoidable it was to get hurt in the process of loving someone with too much passion. He put it back in the white envelop and waited two beats before he flip the lappet again and unfolded the white paper—hoping that his eyes were just playing with him and in truth, nothing is wrong—deadly wrong—with his Princess.

He opened his eyes and again, came out the word "POSITIVE".

A very harsh curse came slipping out of his tongue that he never knew he was still capable of doing again since Misaki hated it whenever he spits out profanities. Rage immediately clouded his thoughts as he shove away everything that was on his office desk before he removed his white coat and snatched his car key from the desk drawer. He was out of the door that very instant and made his way silently—but very angrily—towards the physician that attended to Misaki, only to become as stiff as a block upon seeing her seated on the stretcher wearing such an agonized look on her face, on her trembling hands was the same piece of paper he previously held.

His heart twisted painfully as soon as their eyes met before he walked towards her in huge powerful strides and gathered her in his arms the same time she reached forward him for a very much-needed embrace.

"Takumi…" her voice was small and broken, and he felt his heart scrunched up in pain because the annoying organ had skip a beat as realization and denial dawned on him.

Even so, he forced out a smile for her. "Ssh, it's okay. Don't speak anymore."

"I've got Leukemia stage Two." She still says without breathing, her cold lips against his warm neck. His grip on her tightened even more only to loosen it up again since he feared that his touches might add bruises on her already battered body.

"Let's go home." With her nod, he swiftly carried her up in his arms—missing the usual protests she'd make once he does something she considers embarrassing for public viewing—and walked forward the elevator that brought them to the GROUND FLOOR Parking Lot. People stared at them but he didn't have the heart or the presence of mind to take notice of them or sneer or even growl at them in menace. As some took out picture, he ignored them all. His attention was only on the ovely angel that was on his arms. He placed her back on the ground so he could open the car door for her before taking his place on the driver's side. His hand was shaking as he inserted the key on the ignition—Misaki was quietly staring out of the window and he was suddenly thankful that she wasn't seeing his sudden display of weakness.

He needed to be strong for her.

When she turned to her, she was already smiling. "I know it's suddenly a selfish thing to do, but can I fly back to Japan to visit Mom and Suzuna?"

"I'm coming with you."

"You don't have to. You have work—"

"I'm coming with you." He finalized, and to that, she fell silent. It was the quietest drive they ever had their entire life.

.

The visit to Japan made things worst, that much he could assume easily. They stayed there for only but a mere three days. She didn't tell her Mom and sister the current situation, the visit was short but very meaningful for both of them. They never talked about it and even if he wanted to ask her different things, he just couldn't since she wasn't speaking with him. Thus, the breakup she suddenly insinuated blew things over and he was immediately put off by her lack of faith on their future.

"No. Fucking no, Ayuzawa. You're not leaving."

Her eyes were everywhere but on him—he could totally see what she was doing and it was very unlikely of her. "We both know that this isn't going to work, Takumi—"

"We didn't know that before we went to that fucking hospital only to find out that you have Leukemia!" he yelled, ignoring the way she flinched over what he said with too much harshness. He instantly regretted it, of course, but he won't be taking it back now with the way she was treating him. He walked forward her and takes her too cold hands so he could transfer his warmth on her. "Do not fight this alone, Ayuzawa. We're together in this, aren't we?"

"This isn't your fight, Takumi." She said in such another small voice. "I'm all by myself in this."

"No." he retrieves his hand back and shakes his head furiously. "No. No, you're not leaving. Don't ever think that you could step out of this house without having to fight me."

"Takumi—"

"No!" he paced around their living room restlessly, his face screaming bloody murder. "No. No, you're not leaving. You're not fucking leaving me, Ayuzawa, you understand, that?!"

She fell silent over his sudden outburst that when he heard her frustrated sobs, it crumpled his heart from the ache she felt that his anger immediately disappeared and he appeared before her instantaneously and pulled her into one of his tight embraces.

"Stop crying." Takumi mumbled, unable to stop his own pain from igniting the violent tears that was beginning to make its way to his eyes. He shut them close and reveled with the choking silence that erupted between them. "Don't leave me. Let's go to bed."

Misaki clutched onto his shirt for support, and without much thought of where his actions could take them, Takumi reached out for her lips and kissed her senseless that all she was left to do was nothing but to respond to him positively. Their kisses were intense, as if any coming moment now, they would be parted—as if a time bomb has been placed upon them, and anytime, it would explode. Their strokes against each other were concentrated, feeling the skin of each other—the other one was hot, while the other was abnormally cold. Hard and urgent and drugging—those were the kisses Takumi had given to her and kissed her senses out of her. It was different from the kisses they've shared before—now is more intense, more concentrated, more resolute and mercenary. He wanted her. And he wanted her now.

Their hands were all over the place, their thoughts were scattered on every corner of the room. He was able to pull away the sweater she wore which revealed the thin camisole she was wearing inside. She was beautiful—she's always been—and night and day, he pined for her. They never get into this stage. He respects her too much to violate her before they could even get to the altar. Their kisses were innocent, their touches were inoffensive, and every caress symbolizes nothing but purity and clarity of what they truly feel for each other. It was nowhere near lust—what he felt for her, he meant to say. He has always been true and respectful of her.

He kissed her again, removing her own set of restrictions while she pulled him back towards her, feeling every hard plains of his body. Her touches were cold, something her could never get used to, and he couldn't help but shiver over her strokes. Her kisses was like drug to him, and he reveled over her—every part of her he resisted touching over the years they've stayed together. He tasted her mouth, and her jaw down to her throat and felt her flinch since it was a place she's most sensitive at. He chuckled at him, and he was amused when she still had the presence of mind of to glare at him using her already heated eyes.

Takumi claimed her mouth again—kissing her senseless—before he lifted her up in his arms and brought her to their bedroom. His kisses were possessive… wanting more… asking for more… giving her more and driving her out of her mind. And she wanted nothing but to give him everything she have and anything else she could borrow because he had dedicated his entire life for her even if she's dying. When he noticed that she seemed slightly distracted, his kisses became deeper it was almost hard for both of them to breathe. His hands was all over her, touching her with such gentleness, adored her, giving her so much love she was no longer capable of giving him on the coming long run of their life. Everything was fast—he was fast, and she hope she could pick up on his pace of wanting her.

Until he resurfaced and gave her kisses very different from the hard kisses she had received from him earlier on. Takumi knew she was distracted from the sudden change of his pace before showering her whole and flushed face with an even gentler kiss. She started shaking her head, suddenly aware of what he's doing before she got interrupted again by one of his hot kisses—and he didn't gave up until he received positive and willing responses from her.

Pressing his forehead against hers, he said, "I could never do something as cruel as that to you, Misaki," the way he said her name sounded as if it was his salvation, as if it was a huge piece of home. He kissed her again and this time, she obliged on what he wanted to happen. "—I could only make love with you."

The words that slip past his lips made her feel the ache she doesn't want to acknowledge anymore. That kind of truth hurt more than when she learned of her helpless situation. She doesn't want him to feel that way anymore, not when she's dying—not when she's leaving him permanently. Maybe, back then; she wanted nothing but his whole attention and love. But it was different now. She is dying and she couldn't just let him live alone forever while she was away and no longer bounded to this world. She wanted him to find himself another woman again whom he could love more than he had loved her—that was her dying wish.

It was a careless abandon—their love. And as Takumi transferred everything about him to Misaki, he was so certain that he'd never be able to give himself to another woman anymore. She will be the first and the last—as what he had already promised to himself. No one will be able to replace her in his heart… even if she is no longer with him in this world physically.

.

The illness spread all over her body a lot faster than he expected. And the doctor said that with such fast and alarming late of metastasizing, she had nothing but probably a year or two left. She battled against it, of course. She didn't want chemotherapy—her excuse roots from his perfect appearance. She said that if she were to die, at least she wanted to die beautifully. Her acceptance to the ailment was something he was surprised about, because after that night that they made love, she changed. She became optimistic—something not usual of her—and she had smiled often.

"I already obeyed your condition, Takumi. I quit my job—my boss said I was such a waste for having this stupid disease."

Takumi simply stared at her—she was still beautiful and he never thought of her as a waste. She was wearing nothing but that white sleeping dress she so loves to wear since it makes her feel as light as air. It clung onto her pale shoulders with such possessiveness; adorning the pale skin and exposing the bruises that seemed to be multiplying every damned day. He looks back up at her and smiled. "We could go to places you've always wanted to go to now that you retired."

"Hm… retirement… that came off a bit early."

His expression immediately darkened and even if she had took notice of that, she just continued to smile at him, ignoring his feelings over her unacceptable actions. "I know what you're doing."

Misaki was good when she feigned ignorance over what he's said he nearly believe her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Misaki—"

"Takumi… don't do this to me." She reached over the table for his hand and held it tightly. "We know it's coming soon fast and immediate, don't we? I'm just preparing us."

"You're not preparing me—you're coercing me." When she smiled that sad smile of hers, all the more had it wrench his heart. He couldn't take it; he knew that he wouldn't be able to accept it. "Marry me already."

But Misaki simply shakes her head. "I am not going to marry you and leave you after probably half a year."

"I don't care—"

"Takumi… don't."

And with that, the discussion about their cancelled wedding was put away in a safety box again with Misaki keeping the key. She never wanted to marry him anymore and as much as it had hurt him when he found out about her disease, it had hurt him even more to know that she's bluntly rejecting him.

He was patient with her, agreeing her every wishes and desires. They'd go out during the days, doing all extreme stuff she had always wanted to try. They'd go to the ocean, or do hiking or kayaking and surfing and long boarding. On nights, he'd shower her with too much of his love, which seemed to go even stronger and stronger every passing day. He'd watch her sleep, wandering what he'll be doing the coming nights when she's already away—and the thought would make him shiver, the pain on his heart igniting a fire which burns him inside and out. There was that warm sensation behind his eyes too—always present—but he was able to control them from escaping him. He's a man of control; at least he was still able to do that.

Takumi wanted nothing in the world but to be with her—and he was so certain that she wanted to do the same too. But it was a lot easier on her part because she'd feel nothing. And in contradiction to her, he would end up experiencing the eternal winter that was already on its way to get to him. His heart skip another beat and he felt as if he was suffocating. There was that annoying lump on his throat he couldn't seem to swallow. He was… suffocated with all these.

He doesn't want her to be gone.

"Takumi…" he didn't respond when she called out to him. Instead, he stared at her amber eyes—knowing well that he wont be able to see those eyes anymore once her time limit is over. She propped on her elbows and gently caressed her jawline. "—You're still insomniac?"

In silence, he merely nodded.

"Then, I'd stay awake with you."

"Sleep, Misaki."

"But—"

"I want to watch you." He could see the pain in her eyes that matches his but he simply ignored them. He got her cold hand, kisses it with such affection before forcing out a smile, which, he was certain, would never come out anymore after this. "I love you."

The smile that escapes her lips was breath taking. She's always been happy hearing those kinds of words from him. Back then; he couldn't say it properly to her since he was still bounded with his English family, but now, he feared that he wont be able to say it anymore so he was saying it as much as possible. And what he fears most is that, even if he continues to say it to her, he would never be able to hear her response anymore or see that beautiful smile that makes his entire day. She would be gone… and she would leave him alone. The pain multiplied, and he suddenly wanted to be lost in her eyes so that once she dies, he'll be locked forever inside her—that way, they could still be together.

He felt Misaki plant a chaste kiss on his lips. "So am I."

But he was still unable to sleep. Unconsciousness is something he feared most, because he was scared that once he finally regains awareness, Misaki would be gone by then.

His restless nights went on for rest of the time limit given to them.

.

The pain was very evident on Takumi's eyes as he watched Misaki begin to lose her hair. She was heartbroken and he could only watch in silence as she wither away right before his eyes. Their friends came to sympathize with her: Sakura, Shizuko, Yukimura, Kanou even Igarashi, Maki and Gerard. They were all surprised when they found out that she was slowly succumbing now to her ailment. But the person who was most heartbroken was her Mom and Suzuna. Everyday, they'd cry next to her while holding her hand tightly. He could only watch them in silence as well as the girl he had loved with all his life who would quickly dart a weak smile on his direction.

He was mostly alone in their house. But Misaki offered that their friends stay in so he'd have someone to accompany him. But even if there were a lot of people in their house, it still felt too huge and empty. He thought about children running around their house, all raven haired and amber-eyed. He thought about a certain woman chasing after them. He thought about her preparing meals for them, he thought of her by the kitchen, he thought of her wandering aimlessly around the house, he thought of her whispering her name in her sleep… he thought of him being with her. But now, he could only think of himself living all alone in the said place while sitting on a rocking chair staring silently over a picture of a dead person he once dreamed of growing old with. And again, he'd feel suffocated over the arriving truth. He tried to breathe, but his lungs were constricting, giving him an even painful pain that he doesn't want anymore.

He couldn't breathe… he couldn't breathe… he doesn't want this anymore.

Whenever he'd shut his eyes, it was her image that he sees—and it was painful that as he run forward her, she seemed to be floating farther and farther away. He tried to reach out for her, but she was already gone and he'd wake up, drenched in cool sweat, remembering that she was still back in the hospital—also sleeping and probably dreaming about him, too.

Takumi tried to breathe again, but it was just too painful so he ceases all attempts and swiftly gets dressed: one place was embedded on his mind.

.

Misaki was awake when he entered her room. She didn't seem surprise at the sight of him and in fact, it looked as if she was already expecting he'd come. It was all so natural for them to smile at the sight of one another as if it will be their last. And from the looks of it, Takumi was already certain it would be the last.

_It's coming…_

He saw her exhale before lifting up her weak and battered hand and reached out for his. Takumi swiftly reciprocated with her actions and held her hand, not wanting to tire her anymore. He kissed her bony fingers one by one—their engagement ring already coming loose. The warmth behind his eyes was beginning to leak out, his breathing came in quick and restrained.

Misaki only smiled. "Hey, don't cry…" it was nothing but a weak whisper—the only thing she was able to do that. She looked so weak, she was withering away. He was already losing her and he was still unable to accept it. "Don't cry… love. I know you're far stronger than this."

He shakes his head; tears breaking out of his eyes as he repeatedly kiss her hand. He can't handle it. He couldn't accept it. He would never be able to live without her. He inhaled deeply, exhaling all his frustrations out because he was unable to do anything for her. While she whisks her life away, he was busy watching her, wallowing in his own pain. He was, indeed, such a selfish bastard.

"You can't be like this for the rest of your existence, Takumi." She lifted her hand up so she could caress his jawline before forcing out one of those sunny smiles of hers she'd only show to him. "You know its coming—we both know it does. And I know that you know that you are already ready to let me go."

_How could you say something like that… when all I ever wanted is to die along with you…? _

"You're better than this, Takumi—you're not my perverted outer space alien for nothing." A strained chuckle escaped her raspy throat and she choke on that. Even so, she tried to come out strong and able. "Thank you for loving me—it was the best thing I experienced my entire life. Thank you for giving me everything I've ever wanted… thank you for being with me through thick and thin… thank you for giving me yourself… thank you for making me able to love again… thank you for," she swallowed hard and all the more had it made everything hard and painful for him. "—Thank you for crying on my behalf."

_Why, Misaki? Why must you leave me like this? Why…?_

"I want you to promise me something, Takumi." Her grip on his hand tightened, but it was already a weak echo of what she was capable of doing back then. She was a strong woman… but now, she was nowhere near that woman who taught him how to fight back and gain his own freedom. His savior is dying before him. "I know I'm dying on you already… but I wanted to take this chance for you to promise me something."

He'd take anything from her so long as she'd live. He'd take anything… God, he'd take anything.

"Please be happy…" she coughed slightly and smiles that sunny smile of hers again, which had brightened his day one last time. "Please… be happy… whenever you'd think about me. Do not cry… you know how I feel about you crying—I never wanted that. I know you love me… so; whenever you'd think about that, please smile. Smile whenever you'd see my pictures, or the things that reminds you of me, or seeing my pillow or my clothes, or smelling my scent all over the house… or remembering the times I'd say I love you… because I'd continually say that even after… even after this. Smile, Takumi… smile for me… because that is the only way I'd be able to live happily in your memories. If you smile, I'd smile, too—didn't you know that when you smile, it makes my world an even better place?"

_I should be the one saying that… I should be the one saying that_.

"You'd be able to find someone else which would matter to you more than you have appreciated me, I was certain of that." There was obvious ache in her eyes, but she had concealed it well with her sunny smile. "Someone would come by and knock you off your boring world again." this time, she tried to sound goofy. "Over the things I've done… I've never regretted any… and I was happy we even came to the point that we nearly got wedded. But trust me, this happened for a reason. We have fallen in love with each other… but this thing is one way to tell us that I am not the one for you…"

His heart went even number than before it was almost painful. It felt like a thousand needles was prickling him all at once. It was painful. It was fucking painful. "How could you say something like that when I love you so much?"

She smiled, and simply shakes her head in opposition to what he's said. "I know you love me so much… I know that you could never lie to me. I've always known you're afraid of me, Takumi." She laughed again but this time, it sounded far away… as if she was physically distant from him. He tightened his grip on her hand, making her turn to him before smiling again. "But I am not the last—I will never be the last. Someone else is out there waiting for you, Takumi… and I don't want you to make her wait so long because you were grieving for me."

"Don't coerce me to marry someone else just because you think it's the rightful thing." The words came out pretty harsh than what he had intended, but he did not care. Not now. She was already slipping away and for once; he wanted to be stubborn so that she'd comfort him. "I love you… and that includes you, alone."

"You wont be happy with just that, Takumi…" her grip started to loosen, and he was certain it was already the end. He could smell the scent of winter lingering around the corners of her hospital room, waiting for the opportunity to take her away.

"I would try to be." It was an uncertain promise, but so long as she's happy inside his memories, at least, it was worth the try. "I love you."

He couldn't say it back then, but now, he would never be able to say it anymore. Any coming minute and she'd disappear like a bubble in the ocean. Thus, he wanted to say it as much as he could. Her grip continued to loosen as if her strength is slowly getting drained away, her eyelids were already drooping—ready for an eternal sleep which would be the cause of their eternal separation in this world. But Takumi didn't let go of her hand. His grip stayed firm… he stayed resolute… he stayed firm, even if his heartbeat was beating faster as if he had run a marathon instead of spending his time seated and speaking with his greatest love—a love so eternal not even Death itself could separate them long.

"Misaki… Misaki…"

"…Hmm…?"

"I love you…"

It's coming… and when he was already certain of the future; he couldn't help but imagine a world without the person who freed her from his own demons.

Misaki darted another long stare at him before smiling. "…Kiss me, please?"

He didn't wait for another beat when he swiftly leaned forward her and crushed his lips against her. Her response was another weak echo of what she was previously capable of doing, but he had cherished it because it would be their last kiss. The kiss felt as if the first time they first kissed each other—it was full of emotion, pure… loving. It felt as if eternity was just miles away from them. It felt as if they were eternal. It was magical… until the magic ended when she stopped responding.

Takumi was silent as he buried his face on their clasped hands.

.

The house was utterly still and quiet.

Takumi walked towards the dull hallways, remembering the times he'd run in this hallway chasing after a certain amber-eyed woman who was so fast on escaping his clutches. He remembered the hidden kisses, them flirting in the kitchen, him staring at her… the feel of her hands against the rough pads of his and the taste of her lips whenever he'd kiss her by surprise.

"_I cant believe I fell in love with a pervert."_

"_Hah, as if you didn't like what I'm doing to you."_

"_Takumi, you perv—"_

_A long kiss. "I love you, Misa-chan."_

The last room he visited was their bedroom and all the more had he noticed the very obvious absence of the only person he'd be searching for the rest of his existence. He slumped down on their bed, loosening his tie a bit before caressing the empty—forever-empty—space that was her side of the bed. His heart ache once more as realization dawned on him: she is gone—completely gone. He marveled over the past days they were together, trying to smile as promised when he felt something stiff under the smooth fabric of their bed sheet. Immediately, he yanked of the sheet and took note of a folded paper that awaits his attention.

His heart wrench even more.

Takumi reached out for the paper, unfolded it, and immediately recognized the neat scrawl that was her penmanship and began to read,

_My dearest Usui Takumi,_

_While reading this, I am probably gone now and that must mean you are back in this place and remembering everything about me, am I correct? Don't deny it, you pervert. I know I am because I usually am. And if so, please, do not drown yourself with the pain of my disappearance. Be happy—I already told you that, did I not? Keep your promises since you are not one to break one._

_I maybe gone but you're still alive, right? You'd keep me alive in your memories, wouldn't you? Because you know, wherever I am, I will always keep you with me. Because ours is a beautiful reminder that no matter how short, eternal is something we could experience with the one person we love. And on my case—it was you. It has always been you… and no one would be able to replace you in my heart._

_I love you, Takumi. _

_You are my one and only._

_My greatest love._

_My dearest._

_Eternally yours, _

_Usui Misaki. _

And he was suddenly certain that, after reading her letter, there was no one else for him but that one woman who was able to win his heart without even doing anything spectacular.

Takumi and Misaki—they are eternal.

.

_**Oh, my God, this was… :O**_

_**Please, do tell me what you think. I can't believe I wrote such a heart-breaking story—I hope I didn't make you cry. This story was inspired from MHR's Long Live. As I was reading it, I suddenly wondered what might have happened if something similar befell on them.**_

_**I hope you like it, because you know, I do. And as I was writing it, I couldn't help but cry myself. I wonder how I'd react if something similar were to happen to me too. Don't you think it's just heartbreaking to lose someone whom you love with all your heart and soul? (T_T)**_

_**Anyway, tell me what you think. :D**_

_**I'll be waiting.**_

_**PandemoniumPrincess**_


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